Traditional Lithuanian wedding
it is not so easy to describe what traditional Lithuanian wedding is as ic contains different elwements, some of which are the same like all over the world, but there are still some details, which are unique, unfortunately with time old traditions are dying out and only some elements are still present in the wedddings nowadays. To illustrate the text I took some photos from the internet and from my cousin's wedding.
Traditional Lithuanian wedding used to be quite complicated and lasted two days. It consisted of several stages: first the groom had to find a bride, then he had to propose officially and only then, if the girl agreed to marry, the wedding was arranged. Today these two important stages are left out as usually young people decide to get married themselves. And the next stage is – ENGANGEMENT
During this ceremony in the past both parents took part. The Best Man declared about the engagement and the groom put the ring on the bride’s finger. Then everybody exchanged the presents, usually handmade things, like woven or knitted sashes, towels, ornamented socks or glows, wooden utensils etc. and the wedding was planned. Now usually young man asks the girl to be his wife and then they both inform the parents.
The wedding itself in Lithuania starts a week before the official ceremony – the bride has a Hens’ Party (Mergvakaris) and the groom – the Stags’ Party (Bernvakaris), when they meet their friends and say good-bye to their unmarried life. Mergvakaris is a special girls-only party, organized by the best friend of the bride. There is a lot of singing on that day – girs sing traditional songs about happy young days, whicg are followed by special ceremonies. One of them is twinning a wreath of ruta ( (Lithuanian national flower and symbol of purity). During the party different spells are made, games are played.
And then comes the day of the wedding. White dress is still traditional in Lithuania and like everywhere else it symbolizes purity. But in Lithuania on the wail brides also wear a small wreath of ruta (bot. rue ), which symbolize the life before marriage.
The ceremony is traditionally held in the church and in the town hall, where relatives and friends come to congratulate the couple.
Later the newly weds go to different beautiful places to take photos and there they also follow certain traditions. One of them is to carry a bride over a bridge or several bridges, which symbolize the connection of two parts together.
In the past the groom had to carry the bride over the threshold of the house, nut now there are no thresholds, so instead the brides are carried over bridges. Usually they also leave a lock with their name on the bridge and throw the key into the water.
The parents and the guests wait for them at the reception place. The parents meet the young couple with bread, salt and two little glasses of water, which is supposed to ensure prosperity in their new life. The bride and the groom are given to do some works to show how they are ready for the future life. The Best Man or the Matchmaker plays the most important role as the teacher and the advisor. He not only explains, but also shows how to do different things; to chop wood, to feed the baby (a doll), how to avoid scandals and so on.
As soon as the wedding party arrived at their table another surprise awaited them – a fake wedding party (a man dressed as a bride and a woman dressed as a groom) has occupied their seats. Now the table has to be ransomed. The matchmaker is usually wearing a special sash over his shoulder with the inscription “the Best Man – the Best Liar” as he must tell a lot of lies to make the bride marry the groom. He has to start the negotiations with the guests, sitting round the table to explain that this is their table, while the pretenders argue that they were here first, were comfortably seated and would stay throughout the reception.They want some treat and good jokes and the documents of the groom and the bride. This is not an easy task and also costs some money to satisfy the guests need for candies, cakes and traditional drinks. The Matchmaker must be extremely witty to answer all the “uncomfortable” questions and win the wedding table.After a while of innovative haggling, the fake wedding party gives way to the real bride and groom and after the wedding party takes their places, the reception starts.
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The Matchmaker is also the person who leads all the wedding, tells the jokes, the toasts, organizes all the activities and in general regulates the whole reception party. He also has to teach the groom how to kiss, when the guests start singing the song, meaning that everything on the table tastes bitter and the groom must kiss the bride to sweeten the food and drinks.
After midnight, when all the guests sing a song “We wish you happy long years”, the most moving part of the ceremony starts: the Parents pass the Family Hearth to their children. It is a specially arranged decorative candle, which is put on the table in front of the married couple and parents with them luck and happiness. Then the wreath of ruta is taken off the bride’s veil and is set on fire. The veil is given to the first bridesmaid and the bride’s head is covered with white headscarf. From the lapel of the groom’s jacket the flower is given to the first groomsmate, and the groom is given a cap. Then the bride and the groom start cutting the wedding cake.
In the older times, when my parents were young, the wedding continued on the next day. Next morning, the bride and groom along with the wedding party were woken up by matchmaker and musicians. Matchmakers gave guests to try the cheese that we supposedly "pressed" throughout the night (since cheese is pressed from curd it had to be a proof that newlyweds had an good night together).In the morning the musicians usually were kidnapping the bride and the groom had to pay a “huge ransom” to get her back. But the most important events were happening at about noon.
The musicians usually dressed like executioners came to arrest the Matchmaker, who was accused of lying to the bride about the groom and had to be punished for his lies. This was kind of a performance, consisting of several parts: firstly, the “prosecutor” had to “press charges” against the “accused” – the Matchmaker. A really impressive life-story was invented and the Matchmaker was accused of all the possible and impossible crimes, but the most serious was choosing the wrong husband for the bride. The whole trial was entertaining and included declaring funny accusations and reading the absurd will of the matchmaker.Then the “judge” announced the “death sentence” through: either shooting with champagne corks, or drowning in the bottle of vodka, or freezing him in the oven, but as these things were impossible, the decision was made to hang him. Then the Matchmaker was given the word to say that he is very sorry, that he would not be able to marry the rest of unmarried young people and he left all his property with the instructions what to do with it to the young couple. The bridesmaids were supposed to cry and plead since they would never get married. The culmination of the whole show was that the bride saved the matchmaker since she loved the groom and did not care that he did not own any riches the matchmaker had lied about. A rag dummy was hanged instead. After that the Matchmaker treated everybody with special drink, called “ the Matchmaker’s blood”.
This was an entertaining ceremony, but now people lose interest in old traditions, they do not know the real meaning of all those activities ant more. I heard it from my parents.
Ignas Sagevicius
